Two elderly ladies were discussing their husbands over tea, quietly sharing the little habits that had somehow become more noticeable with age. After a few moments of complaining, one of the old ladies sighed and said, “I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails. He makes me terribly nervous…”

The other old woman nodded knowingly and replied, “My Billy used to do the same thing, but I broke him of the habit.”

“How?” asked the first old lady, rather curious. “I’ve been trying everything, and I’ve even consulted our family doctor, but to no avail. What did you do?”

The other lady leaned closer as though she were about to reveal some remarkable secret. Then, with a perfectly straight face, she replied, “I *hid* his teeth!” 🙂

Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older, each one eager to prove that she was handling the little memory problems of aging better than the others.

One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.”

The second lady chimed in with, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or down.”

The third one listened carefully, then smiled confidently. “Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have that problem.” She knocked on the table and then suddenly looked toward the door. “That must be the door; I’ll get it!”

Maria and Julia were old friends. In fact, they had been friends for many years, and both of them had been married to their husbands for a very long time. One day, Julia went to visit Maria and confided in her that she was upset because she thought her husband didn’t find her attractive anymore.

“As I get older, he doesn’t bother to look at me,” Julia cried on her best friend Maria’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry for you,” Maria said sympathetically. “As I get older, my husband says that I get more beautiful every day.”

Julia looked at her friend for a moment, wondering how she had managed to keep the romance alive after so many years of marriage. Then she narrowed her eyes and asked, “Really? And what exactly does your husband do for a living?”

“Of course he does,” Julia answered, suddenly bursting into laughter. “Your husband is an antique dealer!”